New Toy in Town a Road Hazard

The newest toy to hit the Hong Kong market is now publicly deemed a hazard to motorists. The 'Hardened Dough Cannonball', commonly known as the 'Hard-Dough-Can' is ball of coloured flour that is used as a projectile in what kids term as 'Street Fights'. The loose flour surrounding the ball often seem to give the 'Hard-Dough-Can' a glowing effect, thus the make belief that it consists of 'pure energy'. Although physically harmless to the body, a growing number of motor accidents are being reported as a result of these 'Street Fights'.

According to a recent accident victim, twenty-something year-old videogaming nerds are openly challenging young schoolgirls to 'Street Fights' on public roads. The misaimed 'Hard-Dough-Cans' hit riders and cars alike, obstructing their vision of the road. Motorists are also often distracted by the impossibly short skirts of young schoolgirls.

A self-proclaimed 'Street Fighter' who insists to be known only as 'Q', has recently been arrested for being a public nuisance on the road. "I would have won that fight if the police didn't arrive. My power bar had just maxed out and I was charging for my 'Shinkyu-Hard-Dough-Can'. Damn those Hong Kong Police! They always have to come at the last minute!"

More serious acts of violence have recently been suspected to be linked with 'Street Fighting'. Several passenger cars have been reported to be severely damaged by what appears to be physical punching and kicking. Coloured 'Hard-Dough-Can' flour has also been found in the vicinity of the damaged vehicles. In a recent press conference, the HK Police has commented that the bashing of motor vehicles with bare hands and feet as well as flour may reflect a compulsive disorder in the vandals involved. Also, they suspect the fact that all cars damaged being grey coloured Toyota Corollas may be part of a corporate scare tactic from a rival car company. The Police have declined further comment.

KapKom, the manufacturer of the 'Hard-Dough-Can', is scheduled to release two new products, the 'Shoulder Wielding Cannon', or 'Shou-Wiel-Can'; and the 'Tattering Soup Making Semiautomatic Putrid Cannon', or 'Tat-Su-Maki-Sem-Pu-Can', by the end of the month. The 'Hard-Dough-Can' is available online for USD$1.99 while the triple sized 'Shinryu-Hard-Dough-Can' is priced at USD$5.99.